On a Wing and a Prayer - Preparing for Medicaid

There are many paths that must be carefully traversed in readying your loved one for Medicaid. Personally, I am doing this on a wing and a prayer so hope that, in the end, all was handled properly.

It all comes down to spending down the assets. This equation can have many variables.  Perhaps you have one parent in a nursing facility, but the other is still at home. Can you keep your home? Your car? Your money? I have attached a link for those living in Illinois if you wish to check it out.

https://www.illinoislegalaid.org/legal-information/how-apply-medicaid

Since it's just Mom, we are spending down all of her assets until she reaches $2,000 at which point Medicaid can kick in. Of course, I'll have to apply before that time so we make sure everything is properly submitted before she reaches that amount. I believe it is around $10,000 when you can apply. I know there is quite a list, so I am starting to prepare a book on everything they will need. They want at least five years of records.

The difficulty for the past year while selling her vehicle and house was that I couldn't give it away. If a parent dies, it's easy to give a car to a relative or sell the house at a lower cost in order to move the sale more quickly. However, since we desperately needed the money and needed to show accountability to the government when the time comes for Medicaid, I had to be sure we were selling everything at realistic prices at current market values. I felt like the schmuck of the century when one of her grandson's could have used the car, but I had to be the one to say no.

The real kicker was Mom always wanted my brother to stay in the house after her death. I tried everything I knew how to make that work, but in the end had to tell my own brother he would need to find other living accommodations. Even if he stayed, she would probably live long enough to need Medicaid assistance and then Medicaid would end up taking the house later anyway. This was the most stressful decision I have made to date and still don't feel great about it, but it had to be done.

One of duties that needed to be accomplished was to pre-pay her funeral. Another fun task. We used one of her life insurance policies and converted it into an irrevocable trust to the funeral home. I'm glad this is done for a couple of reasons:

• If you don't pay for the funeral and spend down the amount of assets and go on Medicaid, you no longer have funds for funeral arrangements.
• It has to be done any way and upon her death will be a lot less stress.

On a funny note, I was asking Mom if she had preferences on Bible verses, songs, flowers, etc. for her funeral. When I got to the question of what kind of flowers she would like, she stated she would like to go in on helping pay for the flowers. I told her I didn't think that was possible. When she asked why, she said, "Oh that's right. They're for me. Well, can you at least drill a hole in the top of the casket so I can see what kind you purchased?" While she wasn't fully grasping the concept, she was still answering in true Mom fashion.

So many things can change between now and then that are completely out of my control. I am learning to let go and let God. It's my only way to stay sane. 

Am I doing all of this correctly? I'll let you know in about five years.